I've been so busy the last few days. Tonight I was determined to make it to my Tuesday night yoga class with Lauralee. What a joy to walk through that door! I quickly unfurled my mat, eagerly folded myself into lotus position, and melted into my mat as I bent forward and let me torso lay across my feet. It felt so good I could have stayed there all night. "I love myself. I love that my body loves me back and enjoys sitting in this position. I love the way it smells in here. I love the soothing music that is playing. I'm grateful I came here tonight even though there's a snow storm raging outside." These were the thoughts that came to me while I relaxed there. As we warmed up and got started in our flow, I felt tingly with joy over how much I love doing yoga. I planted my left foot sturdy to prepare for tree pose, and as my hands rose in namaste, up through my center toward the sky, I focused on Ganesha. "I have everything I want, and want everything I have", is what my heart said to me when images of my children and husband flashed before my eyes. I was missing my daughter Devon. She was going to join me tonight, but remembered at the last minute something else she needed to take care of instead. I decided to just send her all my love from where I was to where she was, and I trusted the Universe would deliver it for me.

I am so grateful for my family, my friends, my work, new opportunities that are presenting themselves, and, of course, for my yoga. I have everything I want, and want everything I have.

When I was a kid, I would dream about the man I would marry. He would wear suits and wonderful shirts that would have to be pressed, and I would pick up said suits and shirts from the cleaners on my way to work (which, of course, was going to be a really fabulous creative job thingy). We would have two equally fabulous kids, and all things being equal, they would be a girl and a boy. We would live in some great unspecified city, and there may have even been a white picket fence involved (although I'm not sure that jives with the city part of my dream). My husband would be a wonderful man.

Flash forward 30 years: I actually do pick up my husband's suits and shirts from the cleaners, and as it turns out, he's a pretty wonderful man. What makes him so wonderful isn't how great he looks in his perfectly pressed shirts, but that he accepts me just as I am. His deep affection for me, his endless desire for my happiness, and thinking I'm beautiful when I feel the least beautiful. What makes him so wonderful is that he influences my own thoughts about myself in a more positive direction. He always says, "You're the best". After you've heard that a few times (well, for me it was a few million times), you find that.....you agree. Now, whenever he says that, in my heart I answer, "Thank you....I think I am too."

As I sit here in bed going over all of today's events, thoughts of my son, Griffin, keep coming to me. Everyone who knows him, or just meets him for the first time, are so taken with him. He is consistently the most happy, helpful & thoughtful person I know. Every morning he greets me with the most delightful "hi Mom", and is always willing to give me one of his famous smoochies, even when I haven't brushed my teeth yet! We have such wonderful routines that we do together, and my favorite has to be that he holds my hand as I drive him to school each morning. Then, when we finally arrive at school, it takes him a solid five minutes to start walking to his building, because of the numerous things he does and says before he feels it's ok to go: "Ok, Mom, well, I love you so so much"...."remember, 3:10 on the dot, in fact, be here early".....a few of those smoochies...."ok, well, have a wonderful, spectacular (always in that order) day!" Then on his way to class, he always turns around a few times to wave goodbye. One day I was unable to take him to school, and he was pretty upset. His stepdad drove him that morning, and boy did I ever hear about that when I picked him up from school that day. According to Griffin: "I don't think Mikey can drive me to school anymore because he just pulls up, drops me off and drives away, he doesn't even watch me walk to class". Sigh.....it's so nice to be wanted!

Spending even a few minutes thinking about Griffin, can put me in the most fantastic mood. A smile creeps upon my face, and instantly my spirits are lifted. The wonderful feeling makes me start thinking of other things and people to be grateful for, and before you know it, Griffin's presence is everywhere.

Conversation with my stepdaugher, Isabella, tonight while making dinner (parmesan pork loin, roasted potatoes, bread).

Bella: "You know, you don't have to make a fancy dinner every night for us. Normal families have macaroni and cheese."

Me: "There isn't anything normal about our family."

Bella: "You're right, we're better than normal."

Thank you, Bella for always seeing the good in everyone and every situation. Thank you for always have a kind word to say, and for being so helpful! Mostly, thank you for understanding that it's best to just be who & what you are, which is almost always better than normal.....

I know I'm not the only mom who adores every single thing about her kids, even those, at times, treacherous teen years. Tonight I had such a revelation, as my daughter Devon was eagerly telling me that she is this close getting a job at her favorite health food store. I love that she is so in touch with what resonates within her, that she sought out getting a job at the store she declares she could live in forever, rather than getting a job at any place that would hire her. I love that, out of the box, she's going for what she wants. Now....back to those teen years. Don't get me wrong, she has her moments, but I admire her when she sends me a note saying she's glad we have the capacity to work things out. I love that she wants to talk to me about things and doesn't cringe that I want to be a part of her life. Did I mention that she's 15?

Moment of awareness for today: it's really ok to not feel like you have to hold your kids' hands through every single one of life's big or little experiences, or to interfere with "Mom will make everything work out for you". If we as parents learn to trust them to listen to their own voices more often, we'll see they really can figure it out.